What Is the Etiquette for Dealing With an Orphan?
ما هي آداب التعامل مع اليتيم؟
What is the etiquette for dealing with an orphan?
The answer lists four etiquettes with an orphan: gentleness, a smiling face, joking with him and bringing him joy; building his confidence and abilities; raising him on sound faith, good character, and love of the Quran and Sunnah; and humility without any word or act of superiority.
Taking care of an orphan goes beyond merely fulfilling their financial needs; it requires deep emotional and spiritual support. Islam lays down beautiful etiquettes to ensure orphans grow up feeling loved, confident, and grounded in their faith.
The Four Etiquettes
1. Kindness and Pleasantness
Being gentle with him, smiling in his face, being easygoing and joking with him, and bringing joy to his heart.
2. Instilling Confidence
Instilling confidence in the orphan and developing his abilities and creativity.
3. Moral and Religious Education
Educating him with sound faith, developing his virtuous values and morals, and increasing his love and adherence to the Book of Allah and the Sunnah of his Prophet.
4. Humility
Being humble with the orphan and not acting superior towards him in any action or speech.
ما هي آداب التعامل مع اليتيم؟
يذكر الجواب أربعة آداب مع اليتيم: ملاطفته والبشاشة في وجهه والمزاح معه وإدخال السرور عليه، وغرس الثقة في نفسه وتنمية قدراته، وتربيته تربية إيمانية وأخلاقية مع حب الكتاب والسنة، والتواضع له دون تعال بقول أو فعل.
إن كفالة اليتيم تتجاوز مجرد تلبية احتياجاته المالية؛ فهي تتطلب دعما عاطفيا وروحيا عميقا. وقد وضع الإسلام آدابا جميلة لضمان نشأة الأيتام وهم يشعرون بالحب والثقة والرسوخ في عقيدتهم.
الآداب الأربعة
1. اللطف والبشاشة
ملاطفته والبشاشة في وجهه، ولين الجانب والمزاح معه، وإدخال السرور على قلبه.
2. غرس الثقة
غرس الثقة في نفس اليتيم وتنمية القدرات والإبداعات لديه.
3. التربية الإيمانية والأخلاقية
التربية الإيمانية السليمة، وتنمية القيم والأخلاق الفاضلة لديه، وزيادة حبه وتمسكه بكتاب الله وسنة رسوله صلى الله عليه وسلم.
4. التواضع
التواضع لليتيم وعدم التعالي عليه بأي فعل أو قول.
1. Be Like a Merciful Father | كن لليتيم كالأب الرحيم
Ibn Kathir explains so as for the orphan, do not oppress him (Ad-Duha 93:9): just as you were an orphan and Allah sheltered you, do not oppress the orphan; do not humiliate him, rebuke him, or belittle him, but treat him well and be gentle with him. Qatada said: Be to the orphan like a merciful father.
فَأَمَّا الْيَتِيمَ فَلَا تَقْهَرْ (سورة الضحى: 9)
قال ابن كثير: "(فأما اليتيم فلا تقهر) أي: كما كنت يتيما فآواك الله فلا تقهر اليتيم، أي: لا تذله وتنهره وتهنه، ولكن أحسن إليه، وتلطف به. قال قتادة: كن لليتيم كالأب الرحيم".
2. Repelling the Orphan Is a Mark of Denial | دع اليتيم من صفات المكذبين
Allah describes the one who denies the Recompense: that is the one who drives away the orphan (Al-Ma'un 107:2), and rebukes people who do not honor the orphan (Al-Fajr 89:17). Harshness toward an orphan is named among the traits of those who deny the Day of Judgment.
فَذَٰلِكَ الَّذِي يَدُعُّ الْيَتِيمَ (سورة الماعون: 2)
وصف الله تعالى المكذب بالدين بقوله: فذلك الذي يدع اليتيم (الماعون 107:2)، وعاتب الذين لا يكرمون اليتيم بقوله: كلا بل لا تكرمون اليتيم (الفجر 89:17). فالقسوة على اليتيم من صفات المكذبين بيوم الدين.
3. Playfulness and Mercy With Children | المزاح مع الصغار ورحمتهم
Anas said the Prophet would mix with them so closely that he said to his little brother: O Abu Umayr, what happened to the little bird? (Sahih al-Bukhari 6129). When he kissed his grandson al-Hasan and a man said he had ten children and had never kissed one of them, the Prophet said: Whoever does not show mercy will not be shown mercy (Sahih al-Bukhari 5997). This is the gentleness and joking the answer recommends with the orphan.
قال أنس: إن كان النبي ﷺ ليخالطنا حتى يقول لأخ لي صغير: "يا أبا عمير ما فعل النغير" (صحيح البخاري 6129). ولما قبل الحسن بن علي وقال الأقرع بن حابس: إن لي عشرة من الولد ما قبلت منهم أحدا، قال ﷺ: "من لا يرحم لا يرحم" (صحيح البخاري 5997). وهذه هي الملاطفة والمزاح التي ذكرها الجواب مع اليتيم.
Scholarly Insight: Care for an orphan goes beyond money to his heart and character. Ibn Kathir explains the command not to oppress the orphan as: do not humiliate, rebuke, or belittle him, but treat him well and be gentle with him, and Qatada said: be to the orphan like a merciful father (Ad-Duha 93:9). The Prophet himself joked with children and taught that whoever does not show mercy will not be shown mercy (Sahih al-Bukhari 5997). Read more in the tafsir of Surah Ad-Duha.
Frequently Asked Questions | الأسئلة الشائعة
Is providing money enough for an orphan?
No. The answer adds gentleness, joking with him, bringing him joy, building his confidence, raising him well, and humility. Qatada said: be to the orphan like a merciful father (Tafsir Ibn Kathir, 93:9).
Why is humility mentioned when dealing with orphans?
The answer forbids any word or act of superiority toward him, and Allah commands: as for the orphan, do not oppress him (Ad-Duha 93:9), which Ibn Kathir explains as not humiliating or belittling him.
What education should an orphan receive?
The answer names sound faith, good values and character, and growing love and adherence to the Book of Allah and the Sunnah of His Prophet.
Is it good to joke with an orphan?
Yes, kindly. The answer includes joking with him, and the Prophet joked with a little boy: O Abu Umayr, what happened to the little bird? (Sahih al-Bukhari 6129).
Prepared by Eng. Ghada Homad, founder of IslamFAQ, researched and written in consultation with qualified scholars, reviewed by Professor Khaled Jassem Al-Houli, Associate Professor of Comparative Jurisprudence and Islamic Politics, Faculty of Sharia and Islamic Studies, University of Kuwait. Read more about the authors and this project →