How Does One Repent From Backbiting?
كيف تكون توبة المغتاب؟
How does one repent from backbiting?
The answer explains that the backbiter must return to Allah, repent to Him, and seek the pardon of the person he backbit, because of the hadith on settling wrongs before there is neither dinar nor dirham (al-Bukhari 2449); if he fears harm from that person, he prays for him and mentions his good where he backbit him.
Because backbiting violates the rights of another human being, seeking forgiveness solely from Allah is not enough. The scales of justice demand that the victim's honor be restored.
The General Rule: Seeking Pardon
If a person falls into badmouthing or gossip, he must return to Allah Almighty, repent to Him, and ask forgiveness from Him. Crucially, he should ask to be pardoned from the person he had been gossiping about.
The Prophet pbuh warned about the severe consequences of leaving this unresolved: "He who has wronged his brother, concerning his honor or anything else, let him ask for his pardon today before there comes a time when there will be neither a dinar nor a dirham. If he has good deeds, an amount equivalent to the wrong he has done will be taken from his good deeds and given to the one whom he has wronged. If he has no good deeds, then some of that person's bad deeds will be taken and loaded upon him." Narrated by al-Bukhari (2449).
Note: This hadith is narrated by al-Bukhari (2449); it is not in Sahih Muslim, so the reference "agreed upon" in the original answer has been corrected.
The Exception: Fearing Greater Harm
If a person fears for himself from the one he backbit, he should pray for him and mention his good qualities in the same gatherings in which he backbit him.
كيف تكون توبة المغتاب؟
يبين الجواب أن على المغتاب أن يرجع إلى الله ويتوب إليه ويتحلل ممن اغتابه، لحديث التحلل قبل أن لا يكون دينار ولا درهم (البخاري 2449)، فإن خشي على نفسه منه دعا له وذكره بالخير في المجالس التي اغتابه فيها.
لأن الغيبة تنتهك حقوق إنسان آخر، فإن الاستغفار من الله وحده لا يكفي. فموازين العدل تتطلب استرداد كرامة وعرض المظلوم.
القاعدة العامة: طلب التحلل
إذا وقع الإنسان في الغيبة أو النميمة، فإن عليه أن يرجع إلى الله سبحانه وتعالى، وأن يتوب إليه، وأن يتحلل من الشخص الذي اغتابه.
لحديث الرسول صلى الله عليه وسلم: "من كانت له عند أخيه مظلمة من عرضه أو شيء فليتحلله اليوم قبل أن لا يكون دينار ولا درهم، وإن كان له عمل صالح أخذ منه بقدر مظلمته، وإن لم يكن له حسنات أخذ من سيئات صاحبه فحمل عليه" رواه البخاري (2449).
ملاحظة: هذا الحديث رواه البخاري (2449)، وليس في صحيح مسلم، وكان في الجواب الأصلي "متفق عليه"، فصححت الإحالة.
الاستثناء: خشية الضرر
وفي حال خشي الإنسان على نفسه من الشخص الذي اغتابه، فعليه أن يدعو له، وأن يذكره بما فيه من الخير في مجالسه التي اغتابه فيها.
1. The Truly Bankrupt | المفلس الحقيقي
The Prophet asked: Do you know who the bankrupt is? They said: the one with no money or goods. He said: The bankrupt of my nation is the one who comes on the Day of Resurrection with prayer, fasting, and charity, but he insulted this one, slandered that one, consumed this one's wealth, shed that one's blood, and struck this one; so each is given from his good deeds, and if his good deeds run out before what he owes is settled, their sins are taken and thrown upon him, then he is thrown into the Fire (Sahih Muslim 2581).
قال النبي ﷺ: "أتدرون ما المفلس؟" قالوا: المفلس فينا من لا درهم له ولا متاع، فقال: "إن المفلس من أمتي يأتي يوم القيامة بصلاة وصيام وزكاة، ويأتي قد شتم هذا، وقذف هذا، وأكل مال هذا، وسفك دم هذا، وضرب هذا، فيعطى هذا من حسناته وهذا من حسناته، فإن فنيت حسناته قبل أن يقضى ما عليه أخذ من خطاياهم فطرحت عليه ثم طرح في النار" (صحيح مسلم 2581).
2. Must You Tell the Person? | هل يلزم إعلام من اغتبته؟
Ibn al-Qayyim reports two views. One requires informing the person and seeking his pardon. The other, the choice of Ibn Taymiyyah, does not require informing him: repentance between the servant and Allah suffices, and he mentions the person in the places where he backbit him with the opposite, replacing the backbiting with praise and mention of his good qualities (al-Wabil al-Sayyib). The answer's guidance for one who fears harm follows this second way.
إِنَّ الْحَسَنَاتِ يُذْهِبْنَ السَّيِّئَاتِ (سورة هود: 114)
ذكر ابن القيم قولين: أحدهما يشترط إعلامه والتحلل منه، "والقول الآخر: أنه لا يشترط الإعلام بما نال من عرضه وقذفه واغتيابه، بل يكفي توبته بينه وبين الله، وأن يذكر المغتاب والمقذوف في مواضع غيبته وقذفه بضد ما ذكره به من الغيبة"، وهو اختيار شيخه ابن تيمية (الوابل الصيب). وما ذكره الجواب لمن خشي الضرر موافق لهذا القول.
3. Turning to Allah's Forgiveness | الرجوع إلى مغفرة الله
Allah says: whoever does evil or wrongs himself, then seeks Allah's forgiveness, will find Allah Forgiving and Merciful (An-Nisa 4:110). The answer begins here: the backbiter must return to Allah and repent to Him, then settle the right of the person he wronged.
وَمَن يَعْمَلْ سُوءًا أَوْ يَظْلِمْ نَفْسَهُ ثُمَّ يَسْتَغْفِرِ اللَّهَ يَجِدِ اللَّهَ غَفُورًا رَّحِيمًا (سورة النساء: 110)
قال الله تعالى: ومن يعمل سوءا أو يظلم نفسه ثم يستغفر الله يجد الله غفورا رحيما (النساء 4:110). ومن هنا يبدأ الجواب: أن يرجع المغتاب إلى الله ويتوب إليه، ثم يتحلل ممن ظلمه.
Frequently Asked Questions | الأسئلة الشائعة
Must I always tell the person that I backbit them?
Scholars differ. Ibn al-Qayyim reports one view requiring it and another, chosen by Ibn Taymiyyah, that repentance to Allah suffices with praising the person where you backbit him. The answer advises the second way when telling him would cause harm.
What happens on the Day of Judgment if the wrong is not settled?
The Prophet said that the wrongdoer's good deeds are taken in proportion to the wrong, and if he has none, the other person's bad deeds are loaded onto him (Sahih al-Bukhari 2449).
How do I restore someone's honor if I cannot tell them?
Pray for him and mention his good qualities in the same gatherings where you backbit him, as the answer says, replacing the backbiting with praise.
Who is the truly bankrupt person?
The Prophet said it is the one who comes on the Day of Resurrection with prayer, fasting, and charity but had insulted and slandered people, so his good deeds are given to them (Sahih Muslim 2581).