Sacred Bonds and Fair Boundaries: Marriage and Divorce in Islam

Marriage and Divorce in Islam

Marriage and divorce in Islam are deeply rooted in religious teachings and principles designed to ensure fairness, mutual respect, and compassion. Marriage is considered a sacred contract that fosters love, companionship, and stability within the framework of family life. Divorce, while discouraged, is permitted as a last resort when reconciliation is not possible, emphasizing justice and the well-being of all parties involved. These aspects highlight Islam’s balanced approach to addressing personal and social dynamics.

Marriage

In Islam, marriage is a formalized agreement between a man and a woman, aimed at establishing a stable family unit. It provides a structured framework for partnership, mutual support, and the upbringing of children. Islamic teachings outline marriage as a key aspect of social organization and a practical way to maintain societal order and continuity.

There are rules in marriages and divorce just like everything else in Islam. This ensures fairness between the spouses and a balanced life. In this, Allah SWT has given the woman her rights just as He has given her responsibilities.

Below are some commands, prohibitions, and guidelines for marriage in Islam with regards to Marriage, as well as Divorce.

Commands

Marry those who are single among you and the righteous among your male and female servants.

وَأَنكِحُوا ٱلْأَيَـٰمَىٰ مِنكُمْ وَٱلصَّـٰلِحِينَ مِنْ عِبَادِكُمْ وَإِمَآئِكُمْ ۚ إِن يَكُونُوا۟ فُقَرَآءَ يُغْنِهِمُ ٱللَّهُ مِن فَضْلِهِۦ ۗ وَٱللَّهُ وَٰسِعٌ عَلِيمٌ

(Marry off the ˹free˺ singles among you, as well as the righteous of your bondmen and bondwomen. If they are poor, Allah will enrich them out of His bounty. For Allah is All-Bountiful, All-Knowing.) – An-Nur (24:32)

Treat your spouses with kindness and equity.

يَـٰٓأَيُّهَا ٱلَّذِينَ ءَامَنُوا۟ لَا يَحِلُّ لَكُمْ أَن تَرِثُوا۟ ٱلنِّسَآءَ كَرْهًۭا ۖ وَلَا تَعْضُلُوهُنَّ لِتَذْهَبُوا۟ بِبَعْضِ مَآ ءَاتَيْتُمُوهُنَّ إِلَّآ أَن يَأْتِينَ بِفَـٰحِشَةٍۢ مُّبَيِّنَةٍۢ ۚ وَعَاشِرُوهُنَّ بِٱلْمَعْرُوفِ ۚ

(O believers! It is not permissible for you to inherit women against their will or mistreat them to make them return some of the dowry ˹as a ransom for divorce˺—unless they are found guilty of adultery. Treat them fairly. If you happen to dislike them, you may hate something which Allah turns into a great blessing.) – An-Nisa (4:19)

 Seek marriage as a means to preserve chastity and modesty.

وَلْيَسْتَعْفِفِ ٱلَّذِينَ لَا يَجِدُونَ نِكَاحًا حَتَّىٰ يُغْنِيَهُمُ ٱللَّهُ مِن فَضْلِهِۦ ۗ وَٱلَّذِينَ يَبْتَغُونَ ٱلْكِتَـٰبَ مِمَّا مَلَكَتْ أَيْمَـٰنُكُمْ فَكَاتِبُوهُمْ إِنْ عَلِمْتُمْ فِيهِمْ خَيْرًۭا ۖ وَءَاتُوهُم مِّن مَّالِ ٱللَّهِ ٱلَّذِىٓ ءَاتَىٰكُمْ ۚ وَلَا تُكْرِهُوا۟ فَتَيَـٰتِكُمْ عَلَى ٱلْبِغَآءِ إِنْ أَرَدْنَ تَحَصُّنًۭا لِّتَبْتَغُوا۟ عَرَضَ ٱلْحَيَوٰةِ ٱلدُّنْيَا ۚ وَمَن يُكْرِههُّنَّ فَإِنَّ ٱللَّهَ مِنۢ بَعْدِ إِكْرَٰهِهِنَّ غَفُورٌۭ رَّحِيمٌۭ

(And let those who do not have the means to marry keep themselves chaste until Allah enriches them out of His bounty. And if any of those ˹bondspeople˺ in your possession desires a contract ˹to buy their own freedom˺, make it possible for them, if you find goodness in them. And give them some of Allah’s wealth which He has granted you. Do not force your ˹slave˺ girls into prostitution for your own worldly gains while they wish to remain chaste. And if someone coerces them, then after such a coercion Allah is certainly All-Forgiving, Most Merciful ˹to them˺.) An-Nur (24:33)

Marriage is a safeguard against immorality and promotes personal and social decency.

Marry those who are single among you and the righteous among your male and female servants.

ٱلرِّجَالُ قَوَّٰمُونَ عَلَى ٱلنِّسَآءِ بِمَا فَضَّلَ ٱللَّهُ بَعْضَهُمْ عَلَىٰ بَعْضٍۢ وَبِمَآ أَنفَقُوا۟ مِنْ أَمْوَٰلِهِمْ ۚ فَٱلصَّـٰلِحَـٰتُ قَـٰنِتَـٰتٌ حَـٰفِظَـٰتٌۭ لِّلْغَيْبِ بِمَا حَفِظَ ٱللَّهُ ۚ وَٱلَّـٰتِى تَخَافُونَ نُشُوزَهُنَّ فَعِظُوهُنَّ وَٱهْجُرُوهُنَّ فِى ٱلْمَضَاجِعِ وَٱضْرِبُوهُنَّ ۖ فَإِنْ أَطَعْنَكُمْ فَلَا تَبْغُوا۟ عَلَيْهِنَّ سَبِيلًا ۗ إِنَّ ٱللَّهَ كَانَ عَلِيًّۭا كَبِيرًۭا

(Marry off the ˹free˺ singles among you, as well as the righteous of your bondmen and bondwomen. If they are poor, Allah will enrich them out of His bounty. For Allah is All-Bountiful, All-Knowing.) An-Nur (24:32)

Encouragement to facilitate marriage for those who are unmarried or in need of support.

When a husband dies:

Islamic law prescribes a waiting period (known as ‘Iddah) for a widow before she is allowed to remarry. The length of this waiting period is specified in the Qur’an:

“And those of you who die and leave wives behind, they shall wait for four months and ten days.”
(Surah Al-Baqarah, 2:234)

Here are the main points regarding this waiting period:

Purpose of the ‘Iddah:

  1. Respect for the deceased: It honors the emotional bond between the wife and her late husband and provides time for mourning.
  2. Confirmation of pregnancy status: The period ensures there is no uncertainty about the lineage of any potential offspring.
  3. Preparation for the next stage of life: It allows the widow to transition emotionally and socially before considering remarriage.

Scientific Context:

science supports the idea that this period aligns with biological processes:

  • It helps ascertain whether the widow is pregnant, as pregnancy tests were not available historically.
  • It aligns with the natural cycles of the body to confirm that the uterus is clear.

Pregnant Women and ‘Iddah:

The waiting period is amended for pregnant women, as specified in the Qur’an: “And for those who are pregnant, their term is until they deliver their burdens.”
(Surah At-Talaq, 65:4)


This means the ‘Iddah concludes with childbirth if the widow is pregnant, even if it occurs before or after the standard four months and ten days.

Exceptions:

  • Elderly women: If there is no possibility of pregnancy (e.g., post-menopausal), the waiting period is still observed out of respect for the deceased but not for biological reasons.
  • Divorced women: Their waiting period is typically three menstrual cycles unless they are pregnant.

The combination of spiritual, emotional, and practical wisdom in these rulings reflects a balanced approach, taking into account both religious principles and natural human processes.

وَٱلَّذِينَ يُتَوَفَّوْنَ مِنكُمْ وَيَذَرُونَ أَزْوَٰجًۭا يَتَرَبَّصْنَ بِأَنفُسِهِنَّ أَرْبَعَةَ أَشْهُرٍۢ وَعَشْرًۭا ۖ فَإِذَا بَلَغْنَ أَجَلَهُنَّ فَلَا جُنَاحَ عَلَيْكُمْ فِيمَا فَعَلْنَ فِىٓ أَنفُسِهِنَّ بِٱلْمَعْرُوفِ ۗ وَٱللَّهُ بِمَا تَعْمَلُونَ خَبِيرٌۭ

(As for those of you who die and leave widows behind, let them observe a waiting period of four months and ten days. When they have reached the end of this period, then you1 are not accountable for what they decide for themselves in a reasonable manner. And Allah is All-Aware of what you do.) Al-Baqara 2: 234

Choose partners based on piety and character. (Hadith context, aligns with Quranic values)

Emphasis on moral and spiritual compatibility in choosing a spouse.

It is permissible for a man to show interest in a divorced or widowed woman, but he must wait till the waiting period for her is over before he actually commits to her.

Islam   emphasizes the sanctity of the marital bond and respects the emotional and spiritual transition a woman undergoes during the ‘Iddah period.

Here are key points   :

Respect for the Sanctity of Marriage:

Acknowledgment of the Past Bond:
The ‘Iddah period symbolizes respect for the previous marital relationship, whether it ended through divorce or the death of a spouse. It allows space for emotional closure.

 Avoiding Emotional Distress:
Approaching a woman with marriage intentions during her ‘Iddah might cause undue pressure or emotional conflict while she is in a state of mourning or transition.

Obedience to Allah’s Commands

Islam explicitly discourages proposing during the ‘Iddah period. The Qur’an states:
“And there is no sin upon you for what you hint concerning a proposal to women or for what you conceal within yourselves. Allah knows that you will have them in mind. But do not promise them secretly except that you speak words according to what is appropriate. And do not determine to undertake a marriage contract until the decreed period reaches its end.”
(Surah Al-Baqarah, 2:235)

This emphasizes two things:

  1. It is permissible to hint at interest indirectly, without making explicit proposals.
  2. The actual proposal or marriage contract must wait until the ‘Iddah period has ended.

Ethical and Social Values:

  1. Protecting the Woman’s Emotional Space:
    The woman is given time to process the change in her marital status without societal or personal pressures for remarriage.
  2. Preventing Misunderstandings:
    Waiting ensures that the community understands her status clearly, avoiding any confusion regarding lineage or propriety.

A Sign of True Respect:

By waiting until the ‘Iddah is complete, the man demonstrates:

  • Patience: A key virtue in Islam, showing he values Allah’s command over immediate personal desires.
  • Respect: Honoring the woman’s emotional state and the prescribed Islamic processes.

This principle reflects the broader Islamic values of consideration, compassion, and obedience to Allah in personal and social matters.

وَلَا جُنَاحَ عَلَيْكُمْ فِيمَا عَرَّضْتُم بِهِۦ مِنْ خِطْبَةِ ٱلنِّسَآءِ أَوْ أَكْنَنتُمْ فِىٓ أَنفُسِكُمْ ۚ عَلِمَ ٱللَّهُ أَنَّكُمْ سَتَذْكُرُونَهُنَّ وَلَـٰكِن لَّا تُوَاعِدُوهُنَّ سِرًّا إِلَّآ أَن تَقُولُوا۟ قَوْلًۭا مَّعْرُوفًۭا ۚ وَلَا تَعْزِمُوا۟ عُقْدَةَ ٱلنِّكَاحِ حَتَّىٰ يَبْلُغَ ٱلْكِتَـٰبُ أَجَلَهُۥ ۚ وَٱعْلَمُوٓا۟ أَنَّ ٱللَّهَ يَعْلَمُ مَا فِىٓ أَنفُسِكُمْ فَٱحْذَرُوهُ ۚ وَٱعْلَمُوٓا۟ أَنَّ ٱللَّهَ غَفُورٌ حَلِيمٌۭ

(There is no blame on you for subtly showing interest in ˹divorced or widowed˺ women  or for hiding ˹the intention˺ in your hearts. Allah knows that you are considering them ˹for marriage˺. But do not make a secret commitment with them—you can only show interest in them appropriately. Do not commit to the bond of marriage until the waiting period expires. Know that Allah is aware of what is in your hearts, so beware of Him. And know that Allah is All-Forgiving, Most Forbearing.) Al-Baqara 2: 235

Men are the caretakers of women

ٱلرِّجَالُ قَوَّٰمُونَ عَلَى ٱلنِّسَآءِ بِمَا فَضَّلَ ٱللَّهُ بَعْضَهُمْ عَلَىٰ بَعْضٍۢ وَبِمَآ أَنفَقُوا۟ مِنْ أَمْوَٰلِهِمْ ۚ فَٱلصَّـٰلِحَـٰتُ قَـٰنِتَـٰتٌ حَـٰفِظَـٰتٌۭ لِّلْغَيْبِ بِمَا حَفِظَ ٱللَّهُ ۚ وَٱلَّـٰتِى تَخَافُونَ نُشُوزَهُنَّ فَعِظُوهُنَّ وَٱهْجُرُوهُنَّ فِى ٱلْمَضَاجِعِ وَٱضْرِبُوهُنَّ ۖ فَإِنْ أَطَعْنَكُمْ فَلَا تَبْغُوا۟ عَلَيْهِنَّ سَبِيلًا ۗ إِنَّ ٱللَّهَ كَانَ عَلِيًّۭا كَبِيرًۭا

)Men are the caretakers of women, as men have been provisioned by Allah over women and tasked with supporting them financially. And righteous women are devoutly obedient and, when alone, protective of what Allah has entrusted them with.   And if you sense ill-conduct from your women, advise them ˹first˺, ˹if they persist,˺ do not share their beds, ˹but if they still persist,˺ then discipline them ˹gently˺.2 But if they change their ways, do not be unjust to them. Surely Allah is Most High, All-Great.) An-Nisa’a 4:34

  2Disciplining one’s wife gently is the final resort. The earliest commentators understood that this was to be light enough not to leave a mark, should be done with nothing bigger than a tooth stick, and should not be on the face. Prophet Muḥammad (ﷺ) said to his companions “Do not beat the female servants of Allah.” He said that honourable husbands do not beat their wives, and he himself never hit a woman or a servant. If a woman feels her husband is ill-behaved, then she can get help from her guardian or seek divorce.

Prohibitions:

Do not marry idolatresses until they believe.

 وَلَا تَنكِحُوا۟ ٱلْمُشْرِكَـٰتِ حَتَّىٰ يُؤْمِنَّ ۚ وَلَأَمَةٌۭ مُّؤْمِنَةٌ خَيْرٌۭ مِّن مُّشْرِكَةٍۢ وَلَوْ أَعْجَبَتْكُمْ ۗ وَلَا تُنكِحُوا۟ ٱلْمُشْرِكِينَ حَتَّىٰ يُؤْمِنُوا۟ ۚ وَلَعَبْدٌۭ مُّؤْمِنٌ خَيْرٌۭ مِّن مُّشْرِكٍۢ وَلَوْ أَعْجَبَكُمْ ۗ أُو۟لَـٰٓئِكَ يَدْعُونَ إِلَى ٱلنَّارِ ۖ وَٱللَّهُ يَدْعُوٓا۟ إِلَى ٱلْجَنَّةِ وَٱلْمَغْفِرَةِ بِإِذْنِهِۦ ۖ وَيُبَيِّنُ ءَايَـٰتِهِۦ لِلنَّاسِ لَعَلَّهُمْ يَتَذَكَّرُونَ

(Do not marry polytheistic women until they believe; for a believing slave-woman is better than a free polytheist, even though she may look pleasant to you. And do not marry your women to polytheistic men until they believe, for a believing slave-man is better than a free polytheist, even though he may look pleasant to you. They invite ˹you˺ to the Fire while Allah invites ˹you˺ to Paradise and forgiveness by His grace. He makes His revelations clear to the people so perhaps they will be mindful.) Al-Baqara (2:221)

 A believer is prohibited from marrying someone who associates partners with Allah unless they accept Islam.

Do not inherit women against their will.

Women cannot be treated as property to be passed on or inherited. In early days, a woman whose husband had died, was forced to marry his heir, being his brother, son or other. Islam forbade this practice and gave the widow her right to choose who to marry if she wished to remarry.

 ١٨ يَـٰٓأَيُّهَا ٱلَّذِينَ ءَامَنُوا۟ لَا يَحِلُّ لَكُمْ أَن تَرِثُوا۟ ٱلنِّسَآءَ كَرْهًۭا ۖ وَلَا تَعْضُلُوهُنَّ لِتَذْهَبُوا۟ بِبَعْضِ مَآ ءَاتَيْتُمُوهُنَّ إِلَّآ أَن يَأْتِينَ بِفَـٰحِشَةٍۢ مُّبَيِّنَةٍۢ ۚ وَعَاشِرُوهُنَّ بِٱلْمَعْرُوفِ ۚ فَإِن كَرِهْتُمُوهُنَّ فَعَسَىٰٓ أَن تَكْرَهُوا۟ شَيْـًۭٔا وَيَجْعَلَ ٱللَّهُ فِيهِ خَيْرًۭا كَثِيرًۭا

(O believers! It is not permissible for you to inherit women against their will1 or mistreat them to make them return some of the dowry ˹as a ransom for divorce˺—unless they are found guilty of adultery.2 Treat them fairly. If you happen to dislike them, you may hate something which Allah turns into a great blessing.) An-Nisa (4:19)

وَٱلَّذِينَ يُتَوَفَّوْنَ مِنكُمْ وَيَذَرُونَ أَزْوَٰجًۭا يَتَرَبَّصْنَ بِأَنفُسِهِنَّ أَرْبَعَةَ أَشْهُرٍۢ وَعَشْرًۭا ۖ فَإِذَا بَلَغْنَ أَجَلَهُنَّ فَلَا جُنَاحَ عَلَيْكُمْ فِيمَا فَعَلْنَ فِىٓ أَنفُسِهِنَّ بِٱلْمَعْرُوفِ ۗ وَٱللَّهُ بِمَا تَعْمَلُونَ خَبِيرٌۭ

(When they have reached the end of this period, then you1 are not accountable for what they decide for themselves in a reasonable manner. And Allah is All-Aware of what you do.) Al-Baqara 2: 235

A man cannot force his daughter to marry someone she does not like.

Based on the principle of consent and mutual agreement in marriage.

A man should not have any sexual relation with his wife if she is menstruating.

Physical intimacy is restricted during menstruation to accommodate the woman’s condition and cleanliness.

  وَيَسْـَٔلُونَكَ عَنِ ٱلْمَحِيضِ ۖ قُلْ هُوَ أَذًۭى فَٱعْتَزِلُوا۟ ٱلنِّسَآءَ فِى ٱلْمَحِيضِ ۖ وَلَا تَقْرَبُوهُنَّ حَتَّىٰ يَطْهُرْنَ ۖ فَإِذَا تَطَهَّرْنَ فَأْتُوهُنَّ مِنْ حَيْثُ أَمَرَكُمُ ٱللَّهُ ۚ إِنَّ ٱللَّهَ يُحِبُّ ٱلتَّوَّٰبِينَ وَيُحِبُّ ٱلْمُتَطَهِّرِينَ

 (They ask you ˹O Prophet˺ about menstruation. Say, “Beware of its harm! So keep away, and do not have intercourse with your wives during their monthly cycles until they are purified.1 When they purify themselves, then you may approach them in the manner specified by Allah. Surely Allah loves those who always turn to Him in repentance and those who purify themselves.”) Al-Baqara (2:222)

A married couple cannot have intercourse during the day in Ramadan while fasting.  

Intimacy is permissible only after breaking the fast at sunset until dawn.  

أُحِلَّ لَكُمْ لَيْلَةَ ٱلصِّيَامِ ٱلرَّفَثُ إِلَىٰ نِسَآئِكُمْ ۚ هُنَّ لِبَاسٌۭ لَّكُمْ وَأَنتُمْ لِبَاسٌۭ لَّهُنَّ ۗ عَلِمَ ٱللَّهُ أَنَّكُمْ كُنتُمْ تَخْتَانُونَ أَنفُسَكُمْ فَتَابَ عَلَيْكُمْ وَعَفَا عَنكُمْ ۖ فَٱلْـَٔـٰنَ بَـٰشِرُوهُنَّ وَٱبْتَغُوا۟ مَا كَتَبَ ٱللَّهُ لَكُمْ ۚ وَكُلُوا۟ وَٱشْرَبُوا۟ حَتَّىٰ يَتَبَيَّنَ لَكُمُ ٱلْخَيْطُ ٱلْأَبْيَضُ مِنَ ٱلْخَيْطِ ٱلْأَسْوَدِ مِنَ ٱلْفَجْرِ ۖ ثُمَّ أَتِمُّوا۟ ٱلصِّيَامَ إِلَى ٱلَّيْلِ ۚ وَلَا تُبَـٰشِرُوهُنَّ وَأَنتُمْ عَـٰكِفُونَ فِى ٱلْمَسَـٰجِدِ ۗ تِلْكَ حُدُودُ ٱللَّهِ فَلَا تَقْرَبُوهَا ۗ كَذَٰلِكَ يُبَيِّنُ ٱللَّهُ ءَايَـٰتِهِۦ لِلنَّاسِ لَعَلَّهُمْ يَتَّقُونَ

It is made lawful for you to go in unto your wives on the night of the fast. They are raiment for you and ye are raiment for them. Allah is Aware that ye were deceiving yourselves in this respect and He hath turned in mercy toward you and relieved you. So hold intercourse with them and seek that which Allah hath ordained for you, and eat and drink until the white thread becometh distinct to you from the black thread of the dawn. Then strictly observe the fast till nightfall and touch them not, but be at your devotions in the mosques. These are the limits imposed by Allah, so approach them not. Thus Allah expoundeth His revelation to mankind that they may ward off (evil).) Al-Baqara (2:187)

If a man is in i‘tikaf in the mosque, he is not allowed to have sexual relations with his wife.

أُحِلَّ لَكُمْ لَيْلَةَ ٱلصِّيَامِ ٱلرَّفَثُ إِلَىٰ نِسَآئِكُمْ ۚ هُنَّ لِبَاسٌۭ لَّكُمْ وَأَنتُمْ لِبَاسٌۭ لَّهُنَّ ۗ عَلِمَ ٱللَّهُ أَنَّكُمْ كُنتُمْ تَخْتَانُونَ أَنفُسَكُمْ فَتَابَ عَلَيْكُمْ وَعَفَا عَنكُمْ ۖ فَٱلْـَٔـٰنَ بَـٰشِرُوهُنَّ وَٱبْتَغُوا۟ مَا كَتَبَ ٱللَّهُ لَكُمْ ۚ وَكُلُوا۟ وَٱشْرَبُوا۟ حَتَّىٰ يَتَبَيَّنَ لَكُمُ ٱلْخَيْطُ ٱلْأَبْيَضُ مِنَ ٱلْخَيْطِ ٱلْأَسْوَدِ مِنَ ٱلْفَجْرِ ۖ ثُمَّ أَتِمُّوا۟ ٱلصِّيَامَ إِلَى ٱلَّيْلِ ۚ وَلَا تُبَـٰشِرُوهُنَّ وَأَنتُمْ عَـٰكِفُونَ فِى ٱلْمَسَـٰجِدِ ۗ تِلْكَ حُدُودُ ٱللَّهِ فَلَا تَقْرَبُوهَا ۗ كَذَٰلِكَ يُبَيِّنُ ٱللَّهُ ءَايَـٰتِهِۦ لِلنَّاسِ لَعَلَّهُمْ يَتَّقُونَ

( It is made lawful for you to go in unto your wives on the night of the fast. They are raiment for you and ye are raiment for them. Allah is Aware that ye were deceiving yourselves in this respect and He hath turned in mercy toward you and relieved you. So hold intercourse with them and seek that which Allah hath ordained for you, and eat and drink until the white thread becometh distinct to you from the black thread of the dawn. Then strictly observe the fast till nightfall and touch them not, but be at your devotions in the mosques. These are the limits imposed by Allah, so approach them not. Thus Allah expoundeth His revelation to mankind that they may ward off (evil).) Al-Baqara (2:187)

Divorce

Commands:

Pronounce divorce in a state of purity and ensure a waiting period (Iddah).

Divorce should be carried out during a time when the wife is not menstruating, followed by a three-month waiting period.

             يَـٰٓأَيُّهَا ٱلنَّبِىُّ إِذَا طَلَّقْتُمُ ٱلنِّسَآءَ فَطَلِّقُوهُنَّ لِعِدَّتِهِنَّ وَأَحْصُوا۟ ٱلْعِدَّةَ ۖ وَٱتَّقُوا۟ ٱللَّهَ رَبَّكُمْ ۖ

(O Prophet! ˹Instruct the believers:˺ When you ˹intend to˺ divorce women, then divorce them with concern for their waiting period,1 and count it accurately.) At-Talaq 65:1

The waiting period of women   if the wife is pregnant, or if she has not menstruated  yet or past the age of menstruation (menopausal)

The waiting period of women who are  menopausal, as well as the younger women who have not reached puberty, is three month. Whereas for  pregnant women, the waiting period is until she delivers her child even if it is less than three months.

وَٱلَّـٰٓـِٔى يَئِسْنَ مِنَ ٱلْمَحِيضِ مِن نِّسَآئِكُمْ إِنِ ٱرْتَبْتُمْ فَعِدَّتُهُنَّ ثَلَـٰثَةُ أَشْهُرٍۢ وَٱلَّـٰٓـِٔى لَمْ يَحِضْنَ ۚ وَأُو۟لَـٰتُ ٱلْأَحْمَالِ

أَجَلُهُنَّ أَن يَضَعْنَ حَمْلَهُنَّ ۚ وَمَن يَتَّقِ ٱللَّهَ يَجْعَل لَّهُۥ مِنْ أَمْرِهِۦ يُسْرًۭا ٤

(As for your women past the age of menstruation, in case you do not know, their waiting period is three months, and those who have not menstruated as well. As for those who are pregnant, their waiting period ends with delivery.1 And whoever is mindful of Allah, He will make their matters easy for them.) At-Talaq 65:4

Appoint arbitrators from both families to resolve disputes in divorce cases.

Family members can mediate disputes to seek reconciliation before finalizing divorce.

َإِنْ خِفْتُمْ شِقَاقَ بَيْنِهِمَا فَٱبْعَثُوا۟ حَكَمًۭا مِّنْ أَهْلِهِۦ وَحَكَمًۭا مِّنْ أَهْلِهَآ إِن يُرِيدَآ إِصْلَـٰحًۭا يُوَفِّقِ ٱللَّهُ بَيْنَهُمَآ ۗ إِنَّ ٱللَّهَ كَانَ عَلِيمًا خَبِيرًۭا

( If you anticipate a split between them, appoint a mediator from his family and another from hers. If they desire reconciliation, Allah will restore harmony between them. Surely Allah is All-Knowing, All-Aware.) An-Nisa (4:35)

A husband should support the nursing mother of his child during the waiting period according to his capacity.

If the wife agrees to nurse the child after divorce, the husband must support her financially within his means. If they mutually agree on weaning the child, then it is ok, but if he insists on that their child is breastfed, but his wife refuses, then he may get someone else to do so.

۞ وَٱلْوَٰلِدَٰتُ يُرْضِعْنَ أَوْلَـٰدَهُنَّ حَوْلَيْنِ كَامِلَيْنِ ۖ لِمَنْ أَرَادَ أَن يُتِمَّ ٱلرَّضَاعَةَ ۚ وَعَلَى ٱلْمَوْلُودِ لَهُۥ رِزْقُهُنَّ وَكِسْوَتُهُنَّ بِٱلْمَعْرُوفِ ۚ لَا تُكَلَّفُ نَفْسٌ إِلَّا وُسْعَهَا ۚ لَا تُضَآرَّ وَٰلِدَةٌۢ بِوَلَدِهَا وَلَا مَوْلُودٌۭ لَّهُۥ بِوَلَدِهِۦ ۚ وَعَلَى ٱلْوَارِثِ مِثْلُ ذَٰلِكَ ۗ فَإِنْ أَرَادَا فِصَالًا عَن تَرَاضٍۢ مِّنْهُمَا وَتَشَاوُرٍۢ فَلَا جُنَاحَ عَلَيْهِمَا ۗ وَإِنْ أَرَدتُّمْ أَن تَسْتَرْضِعُوٓا۟ أَوْلَـٰدَكُمْ فَلَا جُنَاحَ عَلَيْكُمْ إِذَا سَلَّمْتُم مَّآ ءَاتَيْتُم بِٱلْمَعْرُوفِ ۗ وَٱتَّقُوا۟ ٱللَّهَ وَٱعْلَمُوٓا۟ أَنَّ ٱللَّهَ بِمَا تَعْمَلُونَ بَصِيرٌۭ

 (˹Divorced˺ mothers will breastfeed their offspring for two whole years, for those who wish to complete the nursing ˹of their child˺. The child’s father will provide reasonable maintenance and clothing for the mother ˹during that period˺. No one will be charged with more than they can bear. No mother or father should be made to suffer for their child. The ˹father’s˺ heirs are under the same obligation. But if both sides decide—after mutual consultation and consent—to wean a child, then there is no blame on them. If you decide to have your children nursed by a wet-nurse, it is permissible as long as you pay fairly. Be mindful of Allah, and know that Allah is All-Seeing of what you do ) Al-Baqara (2:233)

Prohibitions:

Do not take back the dowry given to his wife in malice.

 وَإِنْ أَرَدتُّمُ ٱسْتِبْدَالَ زَوْجٍۢ مَّكَانَ زَوْجٍۢ وَءَاتَيْتُمْ إِحْدَىٰهُنَّ قِنطَارًۭا فَلَا تَأْخُذُوا۟ مِنْهُ شَيْـًٔا ۚ أَتَأْخُذُونَهُۥ بُهْتَـٰنًۭا وَإِثْمًۭا مُّبِينًۭا  

(If you desire to replace a wife with another and you have  given the former ˹even˺ a stack of gold ˹as a dowry˺, do not take any of it back. Would you ˹still˺ take it unjustly and very sinfully? ) An-Nisa (4:20)

The dowry given to the wife is her right and cannot be reclaimed unfairly.

Do not drive wives out of their homes during the waiting period unless they commit clear immorality.

يَـٰٓأَيُّهَا ٱلنَّبِىُّ إِذَا طَلَّقْتُمُ ٱلنِّسَآءَ فَطَلِّقُوهُنَّ لِعِدَّتِهِنَّ وَأَحْصُوا۟ ٱلْعِدَّةَ ۖ وَٱتَّقُوا۟ ٱللَّهَ رَبَّكُمْ ۖ لَا تُخْرِجُوهُنَّ مِنۢ بُيُوتِهِنَّ وَلَا يَخْرُجْنَ إِلَّآ أَن يَأْتِينَ بِفَـٰحِشَةٍۢ مُّبَيِّنَةٍۢ ۚ وَتِلْكَ حُدُودُ ٱللَّهِ ۚ وَمَن يَتَعَدَّ حُدُودَ ٱللَّهِ فَقَدْ ظَلَمَ نَفْسَهُۥ ۚ لَا تَدْرِى لَعَلَّ ٱللَّهَ يُحْدِثُ بَعْدَ ذَٰلِكَ أَمْرًۭا

O Prophet! ˹Instruct the believers:˺ When you ˹intend to˺ divorce women, then divorce them with concern for their waiting period,1 and count it accurately. And fear Allah, your Lord. Do not force them out of their homes, nor should they leave—unless they commit a blatant misconduct. These are the limits set by Allah. And whoever transgresses Allah’s limits has truly wronged his own soul. You never know, perhaps Allah will bring about a change ˹of heart˺ later.2  At-Talaq 65:1

The home is considered a place of safety for the wife during the waiting period. Perhaps the husband who has divorced his wife may change his mind and restore the marriage before the end of her waiting period (after the first or second count of revocable divorce).

Swearing not to have intercourse with your wife:

            لِّلَّذِينَ يُؤْلُونَ مِن نِّسَآئِهِمْ تَرَبُّصُ أَرْبَعَةِ أَشْهُرٍۢ ۖ فَإِن فَآءُو فَإِنَّ ٱللَّهَ غَفُورٌۭ رَّحِيمٌۭ

(Those who swear not to have intercourse with their wives must wait for four months.1 If they change their mind, then Allah is certainly All-Forgiving, Most Merciful.) Surah Al-Baqarah (2:226)

This ruling is called ilâ’. Ilâ’ means that a husband vows not to be intimate with his wife because of a dispute or any other legitimate reason. The verse here says if it is four months or less and the husband keeps his vow, then he does not have to make up for breaking his vow (by feeding ten poor people, or fasting three days), otherwise he will need to make up for breaking his vow. If the vow is made for over four months, the wife has the right to seek divorce after four months. Ilâ’ should be avoided altogether since it deprives the wife of her right to sexual satisfaction. Instead, counseling is a better alternative at the time of the dispute.

Pregnant divorced women cannot hide the news of their pregnancies and must inform their husbands about the child:

وَٱلْمُطَلَّقَـٰتُ يَتَرَبَّصْنَ بِأَنفُسِهِنَّ ثَلَـٰثَةَ قُرُوٓءٍۢ ۚ وَلَا يَحِلُّ لَهُنَّ أَن يَكْتُمْنَ مَا خَلَقَ ٱللَّهُ فِىٓ أَرْحَامِهِنَّ إِن كُنَّ يُؤْمِنَّ بِٱللَّهِ وَٱلْيَوْمِ ٱلْـَٔاخِرِ ۚ وَبُعُولَتُهُنَّ أَحَقُّ بِرَدِّهِنَّ فِى ذَٰلِكَ إِنْ أَرَادُوٓا۟ إِصْلَـٰحًۭا ۚ وَلَهُنَّ مِثْلُ ٱلَّذِى عَلَيْهِنَّ بِٱلْمَعْرُوفِ ۚ وَلِلرِّجَالِ عَلَيْهِنَّ دَرَجَةٌۭ ۗ وَٱللَّهُ عَزِيزٌ حَكِيمٌ

(A pregnant woman must disclose her pregnancy to her ex-husband. He may reconcile and revoke the divorce within the waiting period if desired. ) Surah Al-Baqarah 2:228)

When you divorce, be kind and don’t keep her just to spite her.

وَإِذَا طَلَّقْتُمُ ٱلنِّسَآءَ فَبَلَغْنَ أَجَلَهُنَّ فَأَمْسِكُوهُنَّ بِمَعْرُوفٍ أَوْ سَرِّحُوهُنَّ بِمَعْرُوفٍۢ ۚ وَلَا تُمْسِكُوهُنَّ ضِرَارًۭا لِّتَعْتَدُوا۟ ۚ وَمَن يَفْعَلْ ذَٰلِكَ فَقَدْ ظَلَمَ نَفْسَهُۥ ۚ وَلَا تَتَّخِذُوٓا۟ ءَايَـٰتِ ٱللَّهِ هُزُوًۭا ۚ وَٱذْكُرُوا۟ نِعْمَتَ ٱللَّهِ عَلَيْكُمْ وَمَآ أَنزَلَ عَلَيْكُم مِّنَ ٱلْكِتَـٰبِ وَٱلْحِكْمَةِ يَعِظُكُم بِهِۦ ۚ وَٱتَّقُوا۟ ٱللَّهَ وَٱعْلَمُوٓا۟ أَنَّ ٱللَّهَ بِكُلِّ شَىْءٍ عَلِيمٌۭ ٢٣١

 (When you divorce women and they have ˹almost˺ reached the end of their waiting period, either retain them honourably or let them go honourably. But do not retain them ˹only˺ to harm them ˹or˺ to take advantage ˹of them˺. Whoever does that surely wrongs his own soul. Do not take Allah’s revelations lightly. Remember Allah’s favours upon you as well as the Book and wisdom1 He has sent down for your guidance. Be mindful of Allah, and know that Allah has ˹perfect˺ knowledge of all things. ) Al-Baqara ((2:231)

Divorce should be carried out with dignity and fairness.

A woman is allowed to forgo her dowry in return for a divorce.

 This form of divorce, known as Khula’, allows a wife to initiate separation.

ٱلطَّلَـٰقُ مَرَّتَانِ ۖ فَإِمْسَاكٌۢ بِمَعْرُوفٍ أَوْ تَسْرِيحٌۢ بِإِحْسَـٰنٍۢ ۗ وَلَا يَحِلُّ لَكُمْ أَن تَأْخُذُوا۟ مِمَّآ ءَاتَيْتُمُوهُنَّ شَيْـًٔا إِلَّآ أَن يَخَافَآ أَلَّا يُقِيمَا حُدُودَ ٱللَّهِ ۖ فَإِنْ خِفْتُمْ أَلَّا يُقِيمَا حُدُودَ ٱللَّهِ فَلَا جُنَاحَ عَلَيْهِمَا فِيمَا ٱفْتَدَتْ بِهِۦ ۗ تِلْكَ حُدُودُ ٱللَّهِ فَلَا تَعْتَدُوهَا ۚ وَمَن يَتَعَدَّ حُدُودَ ٱللَّهِ فَأُو۟لَـٰٓئِكَ هُمُ ٱلظَّـٰلِمُونَ

 (Divorce may be retracted twice, then the husband must retain ˹his wife˺ with honour or separate ˹from her˺ with grace. It is not lawful for husbands to take back anything of the dowry given to their wives, unless the couple fears not being able to keep within the limits of Allah. So if you fear they will not be able to keep within the limits of Allah, there is no blame if the wife compensates the husband to obtain divorce. These are the limits set by Allah, so do not transgress them. And whoever transgresses the limits of Allah, they are the ˹true˺ wrongdoers.) Al-Baqara 2:229)

After a divorce, the woman should stay in iddah for three months

(Divorced women must wait three monthly cycles ˹before they can re-marry˺. It is not lawful for them to conceal what Allah has created in their wombs,1 if they ˹truly˺ believe in Allah and the Last Day. And their husbands reserve the right to take them back within that period if they desire reconciliation. Women have rights similar to those of men equitably, although men have a degree ˹of responsibility˺ above them. And Allah is Almighty, All-Wise.)  Al-Baqara (2:228)

The waiting period allows for reconciliation or confirmation of pregnancy.

After the term for a divorce iddah passes, a husband can take his wife back without a new dowry or marriage certificate.

(Divorced women must wait three monthly cycles ˹before they can re-marry˺. It is not lawful for them to conceal what Allah has created in their wombs,1 if they ˹truly˺ believe in Allah and the Last Day. And their husbands reserve the right to take them back within that period if they desire reconciliation. Women have rights similar to those of men equitably, although men have a degree ˹of responsibility˺ above them. And Allah is Almighty, All-Wise.)  Al-Baqara (2:228)

Reconciliation during the waiting period does not require a new marriage contract. It is recommended that the couple stay in the same house during the first divorce. This is because closeness may keep the affection

When the divorce happens twice, then on the third time, they cannot get back together until she marries someone else.

فَإِن طَلَّقَهَا فَلَا تَحِلُّ لَهُۥ مِنۢ بَعْدُ حَتَّىٰ تَنكِحَ زَوْجًا غَيْرَهُۥ ۗ فَإِن طَلَّقَهَا فَلَا جُنَاحَ عَلَيْهِمَآ أَن يَتَرَاجَعَآ إِن ظَنَّآ أَن يُقِيمَا حُدُودَ ٱللَّهِ ۗ وَتِلْكَ حُدُودُ ٱللَّهِ يُبَيِّنُهَا لِقَوْمٍۢ يَعْلَمُونَ

 (So if a husband divorces his wife ˹three times˺, then it is not lawful for him to remarry her until after she has married another man and then is divorced. Then it is permissible for them to reunite, as long as they feel they are able to maintain the limits of Allah. These are the limits set by Allah, which He makes clear for people of knowledge.) Al-Baqara  (2:230)

The Rule of Three Divorces:

In Islam, marriage is a sacred contract, and divorce is allowed but discouraged except as a last resort. The Qur’an states:

“And if he has divorced her [for the third time], then she is not lawful to him afterward until after she marries a husband other than him. And if the latter husband divorces her, there is no blame upon them if they return to each other if they think that they can keep [within] the limits of Allah.”
(Surah Al-Baqarah, 2:230)

Key Points:

  1. After Three Divorces:
    Once a husband has divorced his wife three times, the marriage is irrevocably ended (Talaq al-Bain). The couple cannot remarry unless specific conditions are met.
  2. Remarriage Condition:
    The wife must marry another man in a legitimate and genuine marriage. If that marriage naturally ends (through divorce or the death of the second husband), only then can she remarry her first husband.

Prohibition of “Halala” Marriage:

Islam forbids using the second marriage as a pretext to make the woman lawful for her first husband. This is known as “Halala”, and it is considered a sin and invalid in the eyes of Allah.

  1. Genuine Intention:
    The second marriage must be entered into with the genuine intention of building a marital relationship, not as a planned route to return to the first husband.
  2. Prophetic Guidance:
    The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) explicitly condemned “Halala” marriages:
    “The Messenger of Allah cursed the one who marries a woman with the intention of making her lawful for her first husband and the one for whom this is done.” (Sunan Ibn Majah, 1936)

Wisdom Behind the Ruling:

  1. Seriousness of Divorce:
    This ruling discourages hasty divorces by making the consequences serious and irreversible unless there is genuine change and repentance.
  2. Prevention of Abuse:
    It protects women from being treated as a means to an end and ensures that any remarriage is based on mutual respect and legitimate intentions.
  3. Reflection and Reform:
    Both parties are given time to reflect on their decisions and learn from the past, ensuring that any potential reunion is built on a solid foundation.

This ruling underscores the balance in Islamic law between justice, compassion, and the need to uphold the integrity of relationships.

If you divorce a woman before consummating the marriage, give her half of the  agreed dowry.

Compensation should be given for the commitment of marriage, even if not consummated..

وَإِن طَلَّقْتُمُوهُنَّ مِن قَبْلِ أَن تَمَسُّوهُنَّ وَقَدْ فَرَضْتُمْ لَهُنَّ فَرِيضَةًۭ فَنِصْفُ مَا فَرَضْتُمْ إِلَّآ أَن يَعْفُونَ أَوْ يَعْفُوَا۟ ٱلَّذِى بِيَدِهِۦ عُقْدَةُ ٱلنِّكَاحِ ۚ وَأَن تَعْفُوٓا۟ أَقْرَبُ لِلتَّقْوَىٰ ۚ وَلَا تَنسَوُا۟ ٱلْفَضْلَ بَيْنَكُمْ ۚ إِنَّ ٱللَّهَ بِمَا تَعْمَلُونَ بَصِيرٌ

(There is no blame if you divorce women before the marriage is consummated or the dowry is settled. But give them a ˹suitable˺ compensation—the rich according to his means and the poor according to his. A reasonable compensation is an obligation on the good-doers. ) Al-Baqara (2:237)

If you divorce a woman before consummating the marriage, and no dowry was set, give her a suitable gift.

Financial consideration should still be made if the marriage was unconsummated and no dowry was specified.

لَّا جُنَاحَ عَلَيْكُمْ إِن طَلَّقْتُمُ ٱلنِّسَآءَ مَا لَمْ تَمَسُّوهُنَّ أَوْ تَفْرِضُوا۟ لَهُنَّ فَرِيضَةًۭ ۚ وَمَتِّعُوهُنَّ عَلَى ٱلْمُوسِعِ قَدَرُهُۥ وَعَلَى ٱلْمُقْتِرِ قَدَرُهُۥ مَتَـٰعًۢا بِٱلْمَعْرُوفِ ۖ حَقًّا عَلَى ٱلْمُحْسِنِينَ  

 (There is no blame if you divorce women before the marriage is consummated or the dowry is settled. But give them a ˹suitable˺ compensation—the rich according to his means and the poor according to his. A reasonable compensation is an obligation on the good-doers. ) Al-Baqara (2:236)

Islam provides a balanced framework for marriage and divorce, rooted in divine guidance and principles of justice, compassion, and mutual respect. Marriage is emphasized as a sacred bond that fosters love, stability, and continuity, while divorce, though permissible, is carefully regulated to ensure fairness and dignity for all parties involved. By adhering to these teachings, Muslims are guided to build harmonious families and communities, reflecting the values of equity and kindness enshrined in the Quran and Sunnah. Let us strive to uphold these principles in our personal and collective lives, seeking Allah’s blessings in all our relationships.

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